Greening My Land–God’s Provision
Ever look around and get overwhelmed by the magnitude of things when you take it all in? I suspect that this is why, for centuries, we were preserved from the internet. Information overload! But seriously, never in history have we had so much access to things, and I wonder if that isn’t why there is such a hike in depression and anxiety. We never had so much information coming at us at the rate it is now.
Similarly, I look around at what I’m responsible for, and tend to feel a great sense of overwhelm at times. In recent years, it’s been a bit of a letting go in accepting that I can’t do all things perfectly, all at once. Especially here on the farm. But I can do some things, pretty great, if I focus on them. God had our care in mind, I suspect, when he slowly eases us into great things. Our natural instincts to fight, flight, freeze or fawn take over when big things happen quickly. Myself, I tend to go in between freeze and fawn. Too much coming at me, I don’t know what to do. Through studying myself, and psychology and somatics, it’s become easier to accept this about myself and to give myself space and grace to work things through at a slower pace.
The other day, I took a walk with my daughter in the orchard nearby. I was resistant to it at first. It was chilly, and I didn’t have a plan. Where were we going? Was I going to be chasing her back home strategically, hoping we were going in the right direction? The sun was down and I almost couldn’t tell which direction we were walking in, but it all worked out ok in the end. She was darting here and there, but it was a slow progression so I was able to keep my sense of direction. We ended up on the edge of two neighboring orchards. One was very well kept, and the other was a bit neglected. My daughter tends to head for what looks interesting and adventurous, naturally.
While she collected walnuts in her back pack and climbed around in the empty creek bed exploring, I looked around for something to do. Sit and watch? No, I explored a little myself. Underneath the nearest overgrown Olive tree I noticed undergrowth. I love to see what is growing around us. Is it something useful or something I haven’t seen before? In the slow exploration, I discovered tiny baby Olive trees, hundreds of them, coming up through the loose crunchy leaves. What a delightful discovery!
In the “slowing-down” I was able to discover a possible solution to an issue that was before me all this time with our property. I take all happenstances as God presenting a delightful gift to me. It took me, begrudgingly slowing down to accept His ‘gift”. We have lots of naked acreage on the farm. My desire to fill it with good things has been concerning me, mostly out of a lack of funds. Trees are expensive. But here I was being presented with hundreds of answers to my question, for the price of a slow walk and adventuring with my daughter. What a kindness. What gifts come to us in the slowness. It is so easy for us to turn to our phones or computer for answers. I’m not really a hater of technology, I use it daily myself. But it does feel like my brain cells atrophy at times when I don’t take the time to slow down and have to think and work things out myself.
It could sound a bit old fashioned, but hiding away from the influx of information is so useful! We’re not “alone” in the quiet and the unknowing. I think it is here , in the unknowing, that we actually do more discovering. We have to look outside ourselves, consider things, grow our brain and open ourselves up to possibility beyond what we can imagine for ourselves. God has so many beautiful things to present to us, gifts of his kindness and provision, when we slow down to take it in. He doesn’t even seem to mind if we do it begrudgingly. That’s ok. He’s sees our heart-struggle and still has those gifts ready for us.
So in my overwhelm, and then in my slowing down, God presented a simple solution for filling my land with good things. I had to be quiet to discover the little gift of tiny trees. But here they are, planted now in pots to grow more, and will hopefully be ready to fill up some space in my land in the Spring time. And the bonus to this experience was that it opened my mind to the possibility of more of this type of thing. There are open spaces where I’ve discovered more plants and trees that can be transplanted. I don’t know that this idea would have presented itself to me if I’d restricted my mind to what I found online where consumerism abides.
Cheers to the slow movement of God’s inspiring Spirit!
